When Mom Can't Be the Mentor

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This afternoon found me crouched on the floor helping Sweetie Pea piece together the top layer of a small quilt she is sewing for her new baby cousin. Over the past couple years, my daughter and I have sewn a handful of things together.  But today...

Today was different.

Today marked a change in not only her ability but also her enthusiasm for sewing.  And WHAT sparked the transformation?  Or better yet, WHO?

It was Pat.  

Top 10 School Day Snacks (for Homeschool)

I'm often asked how I get my band of busy boys to sit for extended periods of living-literature style learning. If you have been blessed with many boys, you know that at times getting them to sit still for long amounts of time is kind of like trying to herd cats or lasso jello. Don't get me wrong, I looooove the fact that my boys are boys. But sometimes, I have to get a little creative during the school day in order to wrangle all the energy, so that learning can actually take place.

Want to know one of my best-kept secrets for maintaining complete attention during long periods of reading? Lean in real close so my boys don't hear this...

One Mom's Cure for Ending the Dinner-Time Battle

"Why does mommy never eat french toast dunkers? They're sooooo good!"

Came the innocent inquiry at the dinner table.

As I sat there munching on a tuna sandwich while everyone else gorged themselves on maple syrup-laden sticks of french toast, I pondered...

Yes, why DO I get to opt out of eating Dunkers? Why do I get a free pass from eating something I absolutely hate?!

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the obvious but unfair answer...Because, I'm the MOM...the cook...the person in charge of planning the meals...and I get to choose what we eat and what we don't!

But here's the GOOD and the BAD of that truth...In this particular case with this particular meal, no one really cared whether Mom ate it or didn't, because they ALL looooooved it. They didn't worry about the unfair-ness of it all.

BUT

What about those meals that I love and cook but they hate...chicken scallopini, biscuits and gravy, sweet potato casserole, fried okra, black-eyed peas...(Yes, I know these aren't the healthiest of choices, but stay with me here...)

The truth is, as children, they don't always get a choice in what is set out on the table. I buy the food, I make the menu, and for the most part, I cook the meals.

Up until recently my husband and I have had a "you have to eat everything that is on your plate" kind of mentality. We tried the "at least eat X number of bites" plan for a few weeks early on in our parenting and realized that all that did was breed "negotiations" and unnecessary whining, at least in our children, anyway. So, we dug our heels in and insisted that plates must be cleaned in order to be excused from the table. While this certainly did curb the negotiations, it didn't always foster gratitude for the food that was laid out. Outwardly, my children ate their food. But inwardly, they ate begrudgingly and sometimes with a sour attitude.

Now don't get me wrong. I believe whole-heartedly that as a mom, I should be able to serve food that was paid for by a hardworking husband and expect that my children eat it without complaint. The truth is, there are certainly children in this world who would give anything to be served "gross" food just to be able to eat food...ANY food. However, as a Christian mom, I choose to parent with truth and grace.

The truth says, "I am the parent and you are the child." The grace says, "You are a child, but you are a unique child with likes and dislikes."

TRUTH

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)

GRACE

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

For us, the grace part came that night while everyone else was eating french toast dunkers. The grace came after examining a bit more of the truth.

And the truth of the matter is, I've been served french toast all my life...and I have HATED french toast ALL MY LIFE. There's nothing you can say or do--no tweaks to the recipe that you can make--that will ever make me like it. I hate it, plain and simple.

My kids are the same way. Take my middle son for instance. That child has hated apple sauce from the very first time I ever served it to him. HATED IT! I think it is safe to assume that he may always hate it. When he is an adult, he will obviously have the luxury of avoiding it, but up until this point in our family, he had to eat it. END OF STORY.

That night, the Hubs and I sat all the kids down and offered them some luxury. We gave them the option of picking one "pass" food that they never had to eat under our roof. (Eating at other people's homes is a different story as we should all learn to be gracious and grateful guests.)

Once each person's "pass" was selected, it became a permanent "pass". In other words, he/she couldn't suddenly choose a new "pass" at each new meal. In a few years, we might revisit the "pass" list and make necessary revisions should the need arise. But for now, the "pass" list looks like this...

• The Hubs - any soups or stews with large chunks of tomatoes in it
• Me - french toast dunkers
• Sweetie Pea - peas
• Super Boy - plain brown rice
• Blonde Warrior - apple sauce
• Greased Lightning - mashed potatoes
• The Newbie - too early to tell

Although I still serve all of the foods on this list, I only expect six out of seven mouths to eat all of them. The added benefit of affording a "pass" at the dinner table has been a change in attitude. While I can't see into my children's hearts, I have noticed what appears to be a much better attitude about having to eat everything on their plates.

I've found that they are much more willing to eat "gross" foods with a smile simply because we've given them the opportunity to avoid those food items that they have deemed "REEEEEAAAAAALLY gross".

We've chosen to parent with TRUTH.
But, we've also chosen to parent with GRACE.

"Gentle Schooling" Summer Plans 2013

While we are not un-schoolers throughout the majority of the school year, we ARE eclectic homeschoolers who find value in parts and pieces of ALL homeschooling methods...including un-schooling. I am by nature a "stick to the plan" kind o' girl. But, come summertime, my plan morphs into an UN-plan. 

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Our workbooks and lesson plans get tucked away, but there is still much learning taking place. It just comes a bit more organically. While I don't want to revisit the intense schedule and concentrated studies that the school year brings, I also don't want all our hard work over the last nine months to evaporate by the summer sun. So, I choose to institute "gentle schooling" during these warmer months.

Here's what our "gentle school" looks like for 2013...

Quiet Time

Our Good Morning Board has been packed away for the summer, but our routines have remained the same, especially our morning devotions. I don't require a time frame for our routines, however. They just all have to be completed some time that morning. In other words, we don't jumpstart quite as quickly from June to September.

5 Days of Scheduling Your Entire Homeschool Year {Day 5}

For the last four days, I've hopefully laid the groundwork for you as you seek to plan your homeschool year with purpose. While I would love to sit down over coffee with each of you and help you navigate how best to do that with your specific curriculum selections and styles of homeschooling, I think we'd all admit that would make for a pretty busy Friday.

That being said, I thought it might be helpful to address some of the questions I hear most often regarding scheduling.

5 Days of Scheduling Your Entire Homeschool Year {Day 4}

Woo-hoo!  You're in the homestretch.

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Over the last few days, you have learned WHY you might want to consider scheduling your homeschool year, and HOW to prepare a school-year calendar. You may have already begun plugging in your traditional-style curriculum plans to your Brave Homeschool Planner, or the planner of your choice.

But all that was just a warm-up! Now you're ready to tackle some of the more difficult curriculum types to schedule...unit studies and living literature-style lessons. Let's face it, although these forms of learning provide an excellent opportunity for delight-directed learning, they can be a bit of a challenge to write in PEN.

5 Days of Scheduling Your Entire Homeschool Year {Day 3}

Welcome to Day 3 of our scheduling series! If you're joining me today, I can assume that you know WHY I schedule my year so far in advance and how I piece together a homeschool calendar. (This post contains affiliate links.)

I've enjoyed giving you just a simple glimpse into my methods of madness, but please remember that they are just THAT....my methods. Your schedule or lack thereof might look MUCH different from mine. That's great! Because in truth, that is the intrinsic nature of homeschooling...there is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

5 Days of Scheduling Your Entire Homeschool Year {Day 2}

If you are joining me today for part 2 of this 5-day long look at scheduling your homeschool year, I can assume, you've already taken a peek at WHY I choose to schedule this way. (This post contains affiliate links.)

That being said, I'd like to moderate the following thoughts by reminding you that this is just ONE way of scheduling your school year. It is by no means the ONLY way or the RIGHT way. You, obviously, have completely different dynamics to deal with than I do and will need to adapt any/all of my thoughts to your home. Now that we've agreed upon that and have solidified the deal with the "homeschool moms' secret handshake", let's jump right into our planners. Shall we?!

5 Days of Scheduling Your Entire Homeschool Year {Day 1}

I am a self-professed, card-carrying member of the I HAVE A PLAN AND I'M STICKING TO IT club.

Ok, so technically, there is no club.  And since there is no club, there is also no card.  But, if there were, I'd not only have a card, it would be laminated and tucked neatly next to my I'm-obsessed-with-stationery-supplies club card.

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Pheew...now that I've unloaded all of that on you, you're probably not surprised to learn that as a homeschooling mom, I have a homeschooling plan. In fact, I have a plan for the entire homeschool year.

Co-op Spring Program 2013

This past Saturday marked the culmination of a wonderful year of cooperative learning.  Our Geography Club hosted a 5th Annual End-of-the-Year Spring Program.  The 2012 program theme was such a hit, we decided to repeat it again this year.  Each family chose one country that we had studied collectively this past year and presented our experiences to our extended family and friends in the form of an informative booth.

Clean & Fun Chapter Books for Young Girls

Like mother, like daughter!
It might sound completely cliche', but when you see my sweet girl hunkered on the couch completely engrossed in a new library book, you know that those trite words are SPOT ON!
I looooooove to read, and so does my girl.
And like me, she's pretty persnickety about WHAT she reads.

Last Day of Homeschool Scavenger Hunt

Hip, hip, hooray...it's the last day!  

We made it!  

The 2012-2013 school year was marked by many great triumphs.  In my effort to make our homeschooling experience one worth remembering, I really wanted to end our year with a celebration in honor of those successes.  I had hopes of taking a field trip to a local printing press, but that fell through at the last minute.